Prayer: I am

I was regretting the past and fearing the future and suddenly my Lord said:

"My name is I am." He paused. I waited.

He continued: "When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets, it is hard to find me for I am not there.

My name is not "I was."

When you live in the future, with its problems and fears, it is hard to find me for I am not there.

My name is not "I will be."

When you live in this moment, it is not hard. I am here.

May

Prayer: Thank you

Thank you, dear God.

For all you have given me,

For all you have taken away from me,

For all you have left me.

Prayer: Therese of Lisieux

You know that our Lord does not look at the greatness or the difficulty of an action but at the love with which you do it. What then have you to fear?

Twenty-Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time

October 16, 2011

Isaiah 45:1, 4-6; Psalm 96; 1 Thessalonians 1:1-5; Matthew 22:15-21

          Jesus gives us a great example of refraining from getting dragged down into negative debates. By doing so, he shows us a way to remain faithful to the most important matters in life. We are in danger of getting tripped up by others when they act on their self-centered motives or when they entangle us to get their way. Jesus cleverly maneuvers through the discussion by respecting the questions of the Pharisees and by guiding them to a more healthy way of observing the world.

          In today's Gospel, Jesus is beset by tricks of the Pharisees who want to see if there are flaws in his arguments. They want to know if his logic has cogency and whether they should trust that it comes directly from God. With the Herodians, they ask his opinion on whether a Jewish religious man has an obligation to pay a census tax to the hated Caesar. Jesus is cautious of their impure motives. While they attempt compliment him and to build him up with false honor, his answer honorably respects their question and politely exposes their deceitful intent.  He retains their dignity and does not crush them. His classic statement, "Repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God" further emphasizes that we are to balance our "both-and" status in the world with utmost care and respect. We can act in righteousness in this temporal world by attending to the way God wants us to act. We win when we uphold the dignity and honor of others.

          Jesus does not get pulled off course by his opponents. He keeps the conversation elevated by placing ordinary choices in the context of God's plan. The question becomes for him: Do I live for God or for human glory? He chooses God and shows the religious leaders that they can make choices with similar criteria. We can learn from that too.

          Many of us know narcissists who try to surreptitiously get their way no matter what. Their behaviors are subtle and all-too-familiar that we do not even recognize that we are getting pulled away from our intended direction. We get pulled away from our goals and into their world of control and manipulation because we want to be good and kind people. Sometimes we do not see the nearly-invisible ways we are seduced into their mode of thinking or we are duped to do things we do not want to do.

          Just this morning I received an email from someone who offered a different perspective to mine. She challenged me to adopt her worldview. Instead of answering her email challenge, I held back and said to myself, "Wait a minute! What do I want to accomplish here? How can I respond best?" I did not want to dismiss her or her thoughts. I did not want to bluntly combat her words with mine because my God does not act through force. I simply revealed my thoughts to her, paid respect to hers, and revealed my differing point-of-view. I was able to affirm her dignity, honor the content of her words, and let her know I choose a different path because I have a fundamentally different worldview. I accomplished what I set out to do and was able to show her care and compassion. It made me think that this is what Jesus did with the Pharisees in the census tax challenge.

          The methodology of Jesus is worth examining. It helps us keep our lives oriented to God's way of caring for us and others. If we want compassion and mercy from others, we will get it in return for showing it to those who challenge or control us. We are to act in freedom at all times, especially when friends and family pull us in other ways. Like Jesus, we can live for God and live in the world. It takes patience and skill, but we become wiser and kinder and more loving when we uphold one another's dignity and persevere in our efforts to live freely and happily in a manner God intends for us.

Themes for this Week’s Masses

First Reading: Paul tells us about Abraham's faith as he was convinced that what God had promised he was also able to do. Therefore, righteousness as credited to him, and by extension to us. Sin must not reign over our mortal bodies. We are to present ourselves to God was one raised from the dead to life. Sin is to have no power over you, since you are not under the law but under grace. Since you have been freed from sin to become slaves to God, the benefit you have leads to sanctification - eternal life is given to you as a gift. Both good and evil exist within us and we often do the evil we don't want to do. When I do good, evil is at hand. The concern of the flesh is hostility toward God and it does not submit to the law of God, but you are not in the flesh. You are in the Spirit of Christ who dwells within you. If Christ is in you, the spirit is alive because of righteousness.

Gospel: Pharisees plot ways that they can trip up Jesus in his speech. They question whether it is lawful for a religious person to pay the census tax to the hated Caesar and he replies, "repay Caesar what belongs to him; give to God what belongs to God." Someone in the crowd asks Jesus to settle a dispute between a man and his brother. Jesus refuses. He cautions them about the demands of greed. He tells a parable about a man who prudently stored everything in his barn for safekeeping, but his life was called home to God before he could enjoy the benefits of his hoarding. Jesus reminds people that time is fleeting and we can't predict future events with certainty. If it were so, a master would leave his house protected if he knew when a thief was planning to rob him. No one knows the time or the hour when our lives will end. Jesus tells his friends that he wishes the earth was already ablaze with the all-consuming love of God. Until then, people will have to choose whether they are with God or are for themselves. He instructs them to discerns the signs of the times and make the necessary adjustments. Everyone must repent or they will perish.

Saints of the Week

Monday: Ignatius of Antioch, bishop and martyr (d. 107) was born around 33 A.D. and became a leading figure in the new church at Antioch. He served as bishop for 38 years before he was persecuted and killed under Emperor Trajan for being a Christian leader. He wrote seven letters about church life in the early second century and is the first-mentioned martyr of Roman heroes in the first Eucharistic Prayer.

Tuesday: Luke, evangelist (first century) was the author of his version of the Gospel and the Acts of the Apostles. He is described as a doctor and a friend of Paul. He was a well-educated Gentile who was familiar with the Jewish scriptures and he wrote to other Gentiles who were coming into a faith.

Wednesday: North American Jesuit martyrs: Isaac Jogues, John de Brebeuf, priests, and companions (17th century) were killed between 1642 and 1649 in Canada and the United States. Though they knew of harsh conditions among the warring Huron and Mohawk tribes in the New World, these priests and laymen persisted in evangelizing until they were captured, brutally tortured, and barbarically killed.

Thursday: Paul of the Cross, priest (1694-1775), founded the Passionists in 1747. He had a boyhood call that propelled him into a life of austerity and prayer. After receiving several visions, he began to preach missions throughout Italy that mostly focused upon the Passion of the Lord. After his death, a congregation for nuns was begun.

This Week in Jesuit History

·         October 16, 1873: About two weeks after Victor Emmanuel's visit to Berlin, where he had long conferences with Bismark, rumors reached the Society in Rome that all of their houses in Rome were threatened.

·         October 17, 1578: St Robert Bellarmine entered the Jesuit novitiate of San Andrea in Rome at the age of 16.

·         October 18, 1553: A theological course was opened in our college in Lisbon; 400 students were at once enrolled.

·         October 19, 1588: At Munster, in Westphalia, the Society opens a college, in spite of an outcry raised locally by some of the Protestants.

·         October 20, 1763: In a pastoral letter read in all his churches, the Archbishop of Paris expressed his bitter regret at the suppression of the Society in France. He described it as a veritable calamity for his country.

·         October 21, 1568: Fr. Robert Parsons was elected Fellow of Balliol College, Oxford. He resigned his Fellowship in 1574.

·         October 22, 1870: In France, Garibaldi and his men drove the Jesuits from the Colleges of Dole and Mont Roland. 

Spirituality: Concerning Heaven

A rabbi once gave a sermon in which heaven and hell were shown to a man. In hell, people sat around a banquet table, full of exquisite meats and delicacies. But their arms were locked in front of them, unable to partake for eternity.

"This is terrible," the man said. "Show me heaven."

He was taken to another room, which looked remarkably the same. Another banquet table, more meats and delicacies. The souls there also had their arms out in front of the.

The difference was, they were feeding one another.

From "Have a little Faith" by Mitch Albom

Poem: Robert Browning Hamilton

I walked a mile with Pleasure;

She chatted all the way;

But left me none the wiser

For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,

And ne'er a word said she;

But, oh! The things I learned from her,

When Sorrow walked with me.

October morning

Breathe in. Slowly and deeply – with a long sustained breath. Hold it. Breathe out slowly and completely. I have often uttered these words in a retreat context to help center a person as he or she begins prayer. O.K. Now repeat it. Breathe in slowly and deeply. Don’t rush it. Take a long deep sustained breath. And now release it at the same measured rate. Just breathe. One more time. Breathe in slowly and deeply. Hold it! Breathe out slowly and completely.

This morning the Spirit of Christ seems to be asking me to engage in this pre-prayer exercise. It is as if Christ is saying, “Everything you taught retreatants, it is now your time to practice for yourself. Let me take care of you today.”

I sit in an Adirondack chair outside the retreat house, mere feet from the oceans. The sun is strong with a few high wispy clouds that would dare not block the sun. The temperature is already 82 degrees Fahrenheit with an almost-still sea breeze that brings with it faint trace of salt. I wonder where the retreatants are. As I look around, I notice a retreat director in another far off chair napping, but retreatants cannot be found. I feel presumptuous to take one of these choice seats, but all the chairs remain empty. I let myself indulge in this rare pleasure. I always forego these simple pleasures so that retreatants can have the best views of the ocean. Their absence reminds me that the invitation today is for me to sit and enjoy. I won’t even worry about the sun on my neck’s nape because I probably won’t burn.

Near to me are tall sea grasses that are like dried reeds. They sing a rhythm worth hearing. They clank against one another to make their chime-like noises. I’ll listen because they want to play for me. A white butterfly sits on the goldenrod, but doesn’t seem satisfied for too long. She jumps from one to another and I wonder if she is feasting and cannot get enough of the fruits. Ah, a second one just came along and they flew off in a spiral together. Their pleasure is being with one another for the moment. Behind the goldenrod are tall beach grasses that have lost their green lushness and have become strikingly white. They sway as they provide a contrast to the bright yellows in the foreground. Nearby are delicate yellow flowers with small petals. Three yellow butterflies are flittering away their morning by sucking up the juices of the pollen.

I feel good. I feel as if times is standing still for me to exist in a temporal eternity. I feel good.

A number of ships are in the harbor. A small yacht has docked in Brace’s Cove and the sailors are napping sans shirts. They don’t want to go anywhere. Why would they, after all? These days are made for soaking in the day’s magnificence. Three swans approach the boat. The swans were once timid around people but now see them as a source for their food. The sailors get up and grab their cameras because the birds are so close to them. I cover my neck now for the sun is warm.

Single-mast sailboats dot the far horizon. They move slowly and with great grace. If I didn’t feel invited to stay where I am, I’m sure I would be walking out to Brace Rock that is accessible in low tide. It is monolithic and it looks pristine because of the recent rains. One day soon, but not today, I say. I will come, but today, I just will look at you. The small tide-pools are still. They look warm in the late-autumn sun, but I’m not to do anything today except to behold the beauty around me. A yellow butterfly lands on the armchair and I notice the delicate detailed wing-lines. Hardly a sound is made around me, except that of nature’s movements. I am reminded to breathe.

A neighbor’s dog makes a solitary bark and tiny swallows chirp as if they are just awakened in springtime. A bumble-bee’s buzz provides a bass chant. I find my eyelids growing heavy as if I’m going to nap. I breathe deeper.

Soon it is time to rest. Today seems like a respite from the year-long preparation for winter. We are given a delight to enjoy on this Sunday so we can carry on in the days ahead. The flower beds are begging to be turned in so they can get their rest. As they slumber, other autumn plants poke their heads out to say, “Hey, I’ve been here all along, but you never noticed me. It’s my time now. Look at me. I’m brilliant.” They are right.

Even as the seasons change, life merely is expressed in alternate ways. Just as I say that, a religious sister walks by to pick up a stick. She has to try three times to get it because she is unstable on her feet. I don’t get up to help her – because she hasn’t asked for my help, but she perseveres and uses that discarded piece of wood as her walking stick. She smiles and is on her way. Life will do what it needs to survive. Life always wins out.

This is the type of day I would typically want to be working in the gardens or clearing the bush, but that must wait. After a nine-month effort, the gardens and lawns are beginning to speak for themselves. The land is saying “Thank you. You have freed me and I can breathe again. I want my splendor to shine forth. Today, I gaze upon to delight in them. As I walk through the property, yes, more can be done, but in its due time. It is time for me to look at my work alongside of Christ so I can see what he sees and hear what he is saying about the results. I think he wants to delight in their glory.

I heard a homily today that talked about the afterlife. The priest said, “Don’t pay much attention to this life for it is not good. The next life will be better.” This life is all we have. We don’t know anything about the next life except that Christ promises us eternal life with God. We had better live this life as fully as we can. We are given all of this to enjoy – even though we have lots of suffering.

I read a quick story about the difference between heaven and hell and I am changing the content of the tale a bit. Hell is like a rich banquet with lots of tasty meats, fresh vegetables, and sticky desserts. It is meant for us to eat like an Italian abbondanza. However, our hunger is too great and our arms are outstretched in front of us and though we can grasp all the food we want, our arms are locked and we can’t bring it to our mouths. Heaven is different. Actually, it looks the same. We are all seated at a large table in a massive banquet hall. The same food exists. God wants us to indulge as lavishly as we can in God’s generosity. The difference is that when we reach for the food, we instinctively give it to one another to eat. We are all satisfied. 

I try to remember this because when I go through periods of self-scrutiny, I am reminded that the way out of my doldrums is to care for others. This keeps me open to their needs and somehow someone pays attention to my needs. I have to always go against my natural inclinations, which is to withdraw into myself, in order to achieve happiness and contentment. I make myself open to others’ care when I first care for others. How paradoxical.

I am letting God behold me. I have to imagine God is sitting forward and looking intently at me and saying, “Wow! I created you. I shaped you. I laughed with you and cried with you. I find nothing more valuable than spending time with you today. From your first rising in the morning, I look upon your face and notice how beautiful it is. I want to remember your face all day long. Breathe in my spirit because it is life. Spend time with me today because it is my delight.”

When God greets me like this, it is easy for me to tell God how I feel. I offer up all my emotions and thoughts and God simply accepts them. I present both my positive and negative feelings because that is who I am. God listens with great solidarity. I feel like my voice is heard – and everyone wants to be heard. I feel like I am seen – and everyone wants to be seen. I feel like I am touched – and everyone wants to have the intimacy of God’s touch – or that of another human being who loves you. All my senses I offer to God and my senses feed my feelings. My feelings feed my thoughts. My thoughts and my heart compels me to act. Who am I striving to become? Today, I merely want to exist as a beloved one of God.

But, once I am heard, I ask God, “What are you feeling today? What is going on with you? I want the mutuality of our friendship. Give me the grace to know what is happening with you today. Let me listen. Let me gaze. Let me behold you. I want nothing more.”

We rest together. The butterflies still flutter about; the sparrows still chirp, the waves roll up and down against the shore; and the flowers begin to embark upon their long rest. All is good. All is very well. For now, I’m going to sign off and spend time with God mutually beholding one another. I need it. I want it. I want to say to God, “You are awesome, but I know it will only come after God says to me, “You are awesome, and I just want to marvel at you. You take my breath away.”

And so I breathe.

Columbus Day: A National Holiday

October 12th is the traditional day for celebrating Columbus Day, though the holiday always falls on the second Monday of October. Columbus is criticized for having the prototypical attitude of the European sailing captains and merchants who explored and exploited the Atlantic in the 15th century. He was a man of unusual ambition. He also takes the brunt of the criticism lodged against the European colonizers for the harsh treatment of the native populations of the Americas.

Four hundred years after Columbus' first voyage, President Benjamin Harrison proclaimed a national holiday to honor the landing in San Salvador. Harrison wanted to set aside a day that recognized both Native Americans and the many immigrants, including Italians, who were flocking to the U.S. in record numbers. This holiday would be the first one that was not a religious holiday or one that honored the Founding Fathers. It was to be a day that celebrated the ordinary people who were part of American history. It was planned to be a tribute to democracy as well: universal public schooling was recently instituted - a hallmark decision for democracy because it was designed to include everyone, not just the wealthy governing elite.

The first parade was held in New York City and its marchers were primarily 12,000 school children from each constituency. Public high school students led the way, followed by Catholics, then other private and national schools. The Native Americans were included in the procession. The parade was an attempt to universally unite every group who called themselves Americans.

Nothing ever happens in a vacuum. Two years before the national holiday was declared, U.S. troops massacred 200 Lakota Sioux people at Wounded Knee because of an unfortunate misunderstanding. The U.S. government acknowledge the tragedy of the soldiers actions. In a separate incident ten weeks later, eleven Italian citizens were lynched in prison. The Italians were put to death because of a public fears. Italians were almost as unpopular as the Native Americans. President Harrison was saddened by the events. It is conceivable that Harrison wanted to instill a spirit within the American people who could move beyond their own prejudice and to recognize the great contributions of its many diverse peoples.

The idea behind the holiday is much deeper than most Americans realize. We impose today's attitudes upon events that happened much earlier and that is intellectually dishonest. The goals of Harrison are certainly admirable. Columbus' landing was a momentous step in a world that would see monumental changes within a short period of time. Such a discovery rarely has happened in human history and for that alone, it is a holiday worth remembering.

Literature: The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyesvsky

“They will be amazed at us,” says the Grand Inquisitor to Jesus, “and will think of us as gods, because we, who set ourselves at their head, are ready to endure freedom, this freedom from which they shrink in horror; and because we are ready to rule over them – so terrible will it seem to them, in the end, to be free. But we shall say that we are obeying you and ruling only in your name. Again we shall be betraying them, for we shall not let you have anything to do with us anymore.” Indeed, “Why have you come to disturb us?” The Grand Inquisitor means to take this Jesus who has come again, bringing freedom once again, and burn him at the stake in the name of the church.”

Prayer: I pray you

I pray you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I pray you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I pray you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I pray you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I pray you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I pray you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I pray you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.