But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” At that moment, while he was still speaking, a cock crowed, and the Lord turned and looked straight at Peter … and Peter went outside and wept bitterly. (cf., Luke 22:60-66)
I had a fairly good relationship with the Lord. I would ask him for things, converse with him, praise him, thank him …
But always I had this uncomfortable feeling that he wanted me to look at him. And I would not. I would talk, but look away when I sensed he was looking at me.
I was afraid. I should find an accusation there of some unrepented sin. I thought I should find a demand there; there would be something he wanted from me.
One day I finally summoned up courage and looked! There was no accusation. There was no demand. The eyes just said, “I love you.”
And I walked out and, like Peter, I wept.
Source: The Song of the Bird, pp. 113-114.
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