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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Spirituality: From The Song of the Bird by Anthony de Mello

I was a neurotic for years. I was anxious and depressed and selfish. And everyone kept telling me to change. And everyone kept telling me how neurotic I was. And I resented them, and I agreed with them, and I wanted to change, but I just couldn’t bring myself to change, no matter how hard I tried. 

What hurt the most was that my best friend also kept telling me how neurotic I was. He too kept insisting that I change. And I agreed with him too, though I couldn’t bring myself to resent him.

And I felt so powerless and so trapped. Then one day he said to me, “Don’t change. Stay as you are. It really doesn’t matter whether you change or not. I love you just as you are; I cannot help loving you.”

 These words sounded like music to my ears: “Don’t change. Don’t change. Don’t change. I love you.” 

And I relaxed. And I came alive. And, oh wondrous marvel, I changed.


  1. A lovely starting point and I can see how it works but when I think of how this is rarely applied in the world of work where appraisals ( awful things!)rule the day and seek to dissect behaviour and are used to cause such stress and anxiety to people especially when they are used as power wedges I weep.
    Thankfully I am out of that world now - because I'm retired but I know from listening to friends that they get fed up with it.

  2. You are right. Most managers don't know how to manage. Many are critical and though they may be correct, their styles are often lacking. Good managers build up and use the person's strength. We must always be about creating something good and new. We have to help people reach their potential.