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Friday, May 6, 2011

Question: Trust

I often hear about people who want to trust again. Perhaps trust in a human relationship or with the church has been violated and the person wants it restored. I wonder what a person truly desires when this trust has been violated. In whom or in what does a person want trust restored? Why do it if the trust is violated? I wonder: are there differen nuances to "trust" that we need to examine.

What are ways of becoming trustful?

What does it mean for trust to exist again? What kind of trust are we seeking?

6 comments:

  1. This is an interesting question, to which I have no real answer, but will think about it.

    When it comes to the sex scandal in the Church, and the way bishops and Vatican have been covering it up for years (decades?), ... frankly, I don't see the return of trust any time soon... It feels so ugly.

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  2. I think it requires grace which can land suddenly out of the ordinary.
    It can't be forced but it can be nurtured.
    I went to the blogging conference in Rome with fears and some cynicism but what I heard did give me hope but then there are ongoing Church issues which still cause me to question Papal authority. It's very complex. I can say I trust in God and I hope to trust in the future Church might be a more realistic stance.

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  3. Thanks for your comments. We do have to see trust as a patient process where both parties in a relationship show concern for one another.

    I agree, force seldom creates desired results.

    Say a little more about the blogging conference. It sounds like an interesting concept.

    Above all, trust and respect has to be earned and this comes from gentleness and care. We always have to test it out. Jesus asks of us only two things to learn from him (Matthew 11) - to learn gentleness and to be humble of heart.

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  4. My write up of the meeting is in two parts :
    http://blueeyedennis-siempre.blogspot.com/2011/05/vatican-blog-meeting-part-one.html
    and Part Two here :
    http://blueeyedennis-siempre.blogspot.com/2011/05/blogging-meeting-vatican-report-part.html

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  5. Thank you John -- I always enjoy questions like this. I like this definition of trust: Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they won't.

    As I grow older, I tend to trust more easily than in my youth. When you let someone know that you have trust in them, I think they often wear it as a badge of honor and do their humanly best to keep my trust. Of course, we all fall and fail. Then I forgive, forgive, forgive and forgive infintely. The more times I forgive someone, the longer it takes me to trust again.
    Phil, I loved this: "it requires grace which can land suddenly out of the ordinary". For me, trusting strangers is an amazingly immediate connection, but for many people it is not a comfortable thing to do.

    Trusting the hierarchy of institutions (I'm with you, Claire), corporations, and governments is a whole other story. My trust in most of those entities seems to dwindle each day.

    As I write this, it occurs to me that I trust all three of you and I've never laid eyes or spoken with any of you:-))) I only needed to hear and feel your words.

    John, in a way,this question reminds me of the Bemba people that we discussed awhile back. By bringing a trust-offender before the community, the community publicly reviewed all of the positive attributes/accomplishments of the "offender" and then welcomed them back into the tribe, yet I don't remember trust specifically being mentioned, but to me, there seems to be some level of trust just by inviting them back into the community.

    (Phil- Really looking forward your blogging conference site!)

    Now if we could all just meet for a glass of wine:-))
    I trust that we would have a great time!

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  6. Phil, thank you for the articles on the blogging conference. I'm glad some attention is given to this area of evangelization. It is encouraging.

    Jer, trust is a big issue in many peoples' lives and we will individually take the steps necessary to protect ourselves while not abandoning our outreach to others. Unfortunately, trust gets violated by those to whom we are closest and it hurts most. Good point on vulnerability. Rebuilding trust takes a great deal of time and we have to let others know when they transgress our boundaries. When we communicate well, we give ourselves the opportunity to place and receive trust more easily. If we could learn to relate more effectively with others.....

    Claire, thanks for your honest answer. I appreciate it. I wonder, if trust will not be restored soon, what do we need to get by? What is acceptable during this time, and why?

    All the best, John.

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