Prayer: Cecil McGarry

My deepest moments of intimacy with the Lord have always been in the struggle to remain available to him, faithful in the moments of darkness, defeat, frustration, weariness, in the big and small rebellions of every day when I have tried to impose my wisdom and my ways. I continue to find him more intimately when he proves stronger in the daily demands for availability and service than in times of prayer. I find God more sensibly in the things of every day which require effort and surrender of self than in times of formal prayer which are often ‘empty’ and dry, lived in faith and the natural feeling of wasting time. Ignatius’ note in the Exercises which can appear cold and negative has become positive for me and an experience of devotion: For everyone ought to reflect that in all spiritual matters, the more one divests oneself of self-love, self-will and self-interests, the more progress one will make. The Lord’s companion, Peter, discovered this, and with him I too can only say, ‘To whom should I go? You have the words of eternal life, and I believe. I know that you are the Holy One of God.’