Today is the first Mother's Day I will celebrate without my mother. She loved lilacs and I used to try to get her greeting cards with lilacs or soft flowers. She loved the flower buds and tree blossoms and watching chipmunks frolic on the lawn.
I'm not sure how much grieving I have done, but my overall feeling is one of gratitude. Life always comes to an end and it is sad and yet it is what is supposed to happen. I'm thankful that I've had my parents as long as I have. Sometimes death gives way for new life to be developed.
I walked outside after the warm rains and admired all the fragrances around campus. I gave thanks to God for this life and for its many blessings, my mother included among them. I simply felt light and grateful for life is pretty good. Each fragrance soaked by the drying rain contributed nicely to the memories. Ignatius of Loyola favored the sense of smell as a way of bringing us to God.
As I reflect upon what my mother has meant to our family, I cannot help but see the abundant care of many other mothers with their families as well. I can see the face of an 84 year old friend who adopted two children. His son married and had two children; his daughter who was born in Columbia did not marry, but she just adopted a child born in the Bronx. He is so proud. Each week he shows me a picture of his new grandson who grows a fraction of an inch each week, but he is so proud. At church I see many grandparents with their grandchildren.
Grief is mysterious and there is no set plan for how one mourns. I have a great deal of compassion for those who have recently lost their mothers and I can recognize their sadness, and yet I have the feeling that everything is O.K. and much will still unfold in due time. I trust the process.
Whatever the question is, I know the answer is to love as fully as we can. To give mercy, to give compassion, to hold someone's hand in their time of need in order to show them God's love through us is quite a blessing. We are all pilgrims on a journey. Our birth is one of love, our death is one of love. We need an increase of love, a love that reconciles, a love that heals, a love that gives freedom. I'm sure this is the gift our mothers want for us. May our celebrations today make each one of us grateful for those who are in our lives.
John Predmore, S.J., is a USA East Province Jesuit and was the pastor of Jordan's English language parish. He teaches art and directs BC High's adult spiritual formation programs. Formerly a retreat director in Gloucester, Massachusetts. Ignatian Spirituality is given through guided meditations, weekend-, 8-day, and 30-day Retreats based on The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. Ignatian Spirituality serves the contemporary world as people strive to develop a friendship with God.
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