You who have had a child turn on you; who once had close friends, now lost or grown distant; who have loved or wished to be loved: Have you suffered?
Think of our God not as “prime mover,” but as God who brought forth life, called men and women into friendship, loved us first and desire our love in return.
If you made this world and looked over it from beginning to end, looked at all the places ever inhabited with all the people who had lived and died: Would you suffer? If you made freedom and conceived of human liberty, and you look at what it has made possible – the heights of nobility as well as the depth of depravity – Would you suffer? Would you think your work had mocked you? Would you think it had all been in vain? Would you reject humanity for all the evils humans have done? Would you condemn them, even as they dash your dreams and wish away your life?
We may think that Jesus’ words of forgiveness from the cross are simply signs of his large-heartedness before his persecutors. We may realize that his forgiveness extends to all of us. But what might be more wonderful is to realize that his words are a call to us not only to embrace his cross, but to emulate his forgiveness. He told us to forgive seventy times seven, taught us to ask and give forgiveness in our every prayer, meant it.
It is not easy to forgive, especially when forgiveness is not even requested. Still more difficult when the one who injures us does not acknowledge the wound. But in these words from the cross we discover not only the eternal willingness of God to forgive us, we also discover that when we ourselves forgive, we are most like Our Lord. And most Godly.
I always feel conflicted between the ideas of God that I learned in school (where I got my ideas of God in the first place, so it is hard to throw bits away without questioning the whole concept) and the ones being promulgated lately, which seem more Scriptural but also more illogical. In school, we were taught about the impassibility of God and it certainly seemed compatible with someone who was unchanging and incorporeal and therefore not subject to fluctuating emotions. On the other hand, the Bible, especially the Prophetic Books, depict a God who is capable of suffering, anger, and even rather frentic joy ("And the Father will dance as on a day of joy..."). Of course we were also taught that "nothing can be postulated univocally of God and creatures" so any ideas about "God's love" or "God's wrath" could not adequately be imagined in terms of even the most pure and profound human love or the most righteous and purifying anger. It is painful when one is suffering to think of the impassible God calmly observing the horror while remaining perfectly joyful in His divine blissfulness. But it seems like projection or creating an imaginary friend to think of God suffering sympathetically along with us. And it seems to divide up the Unity of the Trinity to say that the Father just does His ineffable and inscrutable divine thing while the Son suffers and rejoices via His sacred Humanity. (Who knows what the Spirit is supposed to be doing during all of this, except perhaps uttering equally inscrutable "groanings.") It is very hard to know how to relate to God with so many contradictory models being offered, and unless He decides (which in my case He seldom or never does) to reveal Himself in some very perceptible way, there is always the danger that we are making the whole thing up to suit ourselves and He is really doing something quite different and unrelated, which we will find out to our cost after we miss out on the relationship with the real God in favor of creating a more satisfying one in our own image to be our imaginary friend.
ReplyDeleteThose teachings are so ingrained that it is hard to imagine new possibilities. Jesus and God are much more than imaginary friends. They live. They move. They labor. They communicate. However, I do understand the great tension you have. It is all mystery, which we embrace.
DeleteI am always in awe when I reflect on God desiring my love. How amazing is that! I love God because God first loved me and yet I wonder why God loves me when I don't see much to love in me. That is the mystery of God's absolutely unconditional love. I cannot understand it but I accept it in faith. How blessed we are.
ReplyDeleteWhat else would God desire from you? Yes, go ahead and wonder, and let it take you to all the affirming places God is pointing out to you.
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