Sunday, January 29, 2012
Prayer: Jean Vanier
It
is not reserved for those who are well-known mystics or for those who do
wonderful things for the poor... [It is for those] poor enough to welcome
Jesus. It is for people living ordinary lives and who feel lonely. It is for
all those who are old, hospitalized or out of work, who open their hearts in
trust to Jesus and cry out for his healing love.
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Thank you for this, Father.
ReplyDelete(I was curious what the "it" was that Vanier is referring to in the first line - was it prayer that he was referencing?)
In any event, this post struck me because I am trying to discern God's will and often feel lonely and irrelevant. I am out of work right now and feel that even if I find work and live a holy, "ordinary" life, it would not be pleasing to God. I feel like that I have to do wonderful things somehow, and yet I feel that they are beyond me - I am very weak and wonder if I could even handle marriage or anything like that (I don't mean to suggest that marriage isn't wonderful or that it is easy).
I just feel guilty for being so "poor," in spirit at least. I do need His healing love very much, and I've wondered that, perhaps if/when I am healed (whatever that may mean, perhaps many things), then I will be able to do more wonderful things. But even then, I am not sure. There is something in me that senses that my weakness may be permanent and so at best would be a cross to bear, though I think I'd still feel irrelevant.
But still, I pray. Feeling awful this morning, I remembered St. Bernard's advice to call upon Mary, and I said to her, basically, "Mary, I don't know what to do." And not long after, though I didn't receive any advice or guidance in the strict sense, I did feel calmed and able to get out of bed with a desire to go to Mass and begin the day. There was some gratitude in the midst of this and a ray of hope.
At the very least, I am thankful for that, for what was seemingly Mary's intercession this morning.
When Vanier refers to "it," he is basically saying that everyone can do something for our poor and our neighbors. "It" refers to "good works of love" to take care of brothers and sisters. It is not just for mystics and saints, but for us ordinary people.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone. You do matter.
I'm sorry you are out of work. God doesn't want you to do extraordinary things; God wants you to do what you are able to do. Nothing more. We put such pressure upon ourselves. We are all better when we just try to live ordinary lives = lives that bring us happiness and meaning. We err when we try to be somebody or something we are not.
Above all, I hope you find the God loves you and that you are lovable. Look around at those who do love you and find you lovable.
You matter so much to God. Keep repeating these words. Just ask God to warmly gaze upon you.
Know of my prayers for you.