Spirituality: Text of the Deliberations of the First Fathers (three of five)

Having decided and solved the first problem, we faced another more difficult one worthy of no less reflection and foresight. Having already pronounced perpetual vows of chastity and poverty before the most reverend legate of His Holiness when we were working in Venice, we now asked whether we should pronounce a third vow, namely to obey one of us in order that we might carry out the will of our Lord God more sincerely and with greater praise and merit and, at the same time, carry out the will and command of His Holiness to whom we had most willingly offered our will: will, understanding, strength, and the rest.

After many days of reflection and prayer, nothing had transpired to fill our souls with peace in solving this problem. Hoping in the Lord, we began to discuss mutually some means to solve the problem. First of all, we asked whether it might be good for all of us to withdraw to some hermitage and to remain there for thirty or forty days, spending all our time in meditations, fasting, and penances to the end that God might respond to our desires and deign to impress upon our minds the solution of the problems. Then, we asked whether three or four in the name of all should retire in this way for the same purpose. Or whether – although no one would go to a hermitage, all remaining in the city – we should devote ourselves to this one affair, so that we might give a larger and more ample place to meditation, reflection, and prayer, spending the rest of the day in our usual works of preaching and hearing confessions.

Finally, after discussing and examining these proposals, we decided that all would remain in Rome for two reasons especially: first, so as not to cause rumors and scandals in the city and among the people who, since men are so inclined to rash judgment, might conclude and suppose that we had taken flight or begun to work at something new or had little stability and perseverance in carrying out what we had begun; secondly, so that through being absent we would not in the meantime lose the great results we were seeking in hearing confessions, preaching, and other spiritual exercises, the demands for which were so great that if we were four times our number we could not satisfy all, as we cannot do at present.