Mary is a rightly
revered person in Christianity and we owe much to her example of faith. She
holds a special place in our hearts for her willingness to become the mother of
Jesus, which led her to become the "Mother of God," which today's
feast honors. Her openness to God's will is an example for us to keep ourselves
open to God's many invitations. The possibilities are boundless when we learn
to say "yes" as Mary did.
Some struggle to relate well to Mary. Images
of the Catholic portrayal of Mary make her too far removed from them. She is presented
as someone so pure, chaste, wise, and good that many cannot relate to her
because those characteristics appear otherworldly. For people who make daily
mistakes, Mary seems to be inerrant in her morality and too much of an ideal as
one who we are to imitate. She is practically transcendent, high above us, and
perfect, and we are mere humans who strive each day and fail to live up to
God's expectations for ourselves. Many times, the historical man, Jesus of
Nazareth, is easier to connect with because he was a man who experienced
humanity fully. Some portrayals of Jesus makes him more reachable than his
mother.
I often suggest to spiritual seekers
who struggle with Mary to connect with her primarily as the earthly mother of
Jesus . I ask them to consider their own mother's characteristics and see if
the find similarities and differences with Mary. Mary is special because she
was a human mother who did the best for her family. She had her particularly
ways of relating to her family as our mother's do. She uniquely cared for her
son the way that our moms care for us. I like the way she cherishes memories in
her heart the way my mother fondly remembers my childhood. The Mary I know has
a natural beauty to her, and she looks nothing like the images we see on
Christmas cards or statues. She is just comfortable in her skin. She likes to
sing while she cooks and bakes. And she sings well - a mezzo-soprano with deep
resonance. The Mary I know has a special song reserved for me as my mother does
for me. You may have a special way your mom knows something intimate about your
relationship with her As I become more familiar with Mary, the more greatly I
honor what she did and does for me. It is in her humanity that I find her
greatness.
Jesuits in their 30-day silent retreat
called the Spiritual Exercises often call upon Mary to intercede for special
graces. We figure we need all the spiritual resources we can muster to work out
our salvation. Some Christian faiths wonder why we pray to Mary since she is
not God or Jesus. Why not go directly to Jesus in prayer? He is the one who can
provide for us. Why bother with Mary? Because mothers have a special way of
caring for and representing the needs of their children. Mary does the same. As
we are all her children, she wants to take care of us and since she knows her
Son so well, it is easy for her to bring our requests directly to him with the
type of style that will persuade her Son to do what she asks.
We don't want to be too idealistic. We
love, or at least try to love our mothers and fathers, while we know they are
not perfect and that their love is not perfect. We have expectations of our
parents that sometimes disappoint us while at the same time the volume of their
work shows that they have tried - with whatever success rate - but they have
tried to do well for us as we have tried for our children. The beauty is in
trying and in realizing that we are progressing along in a continuum in a
relationship. It is never set in stone. We have the ability to change every
day. And while Mary, the mom of Jesus, had challenges to be a good parent, we
have a second mother to listen to our stories, tend to our wounds, laugh and
affirm and encourage us, or to give us a hug when we most need it. Above all,
she wants to place us with her Son who she knows will care for us best. Together,
they want the best for us because they know earthly life is difficult. They
want to be our companions of the journey.
This day is also the day in which
Jesus was given his name at his circumcision. (This is a special feast day for
Jesuits as it is our titular feast: the giving of the name of Jesus to the
Society that bears his name.) Naming someone is a powerful act. Naming a child
allows us to recognize our gratitude for previous generations, to remember a
dear friend, or to honor someone who has made a deep impression upon our lives.
For that child, we desire that he or she grows up imitating a virtue or
characteristic of one whom we deeply admire. A lasting bond is forged between
peoples.
The naming of Jesus reminds us that
the angel Gabriel suggested to her that her son be named Jesus, that is,
"Yahweh saves." He shall be Emmanuel - God is with us. This name
carries a weighty significance. Paul in his letter to the Galatians tells us
that it is through Jesus as the Son of God that we are adopted into God's
family. Jesus is the one who brings us into God's paternal family as his
children in intimate terms. The power of God's familial protection remains with
us. In the Book of Numbers, Moses tells Aaron that he is to give the Israelites
a blessing in God's name. When the holy name is invoked, the Lord will bless
them abundantly. This is the reason we today continue to bless believers,
"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."
Notice those people, places, and
events that we specially name. It could be a favorite family vacation spot, a
newly acquired pet, a colleague's nickname, or a room in the house. We also
name characteristics to a condition we are dealing with, like alcoholism,
narcissism, depression, or powerlessness. Once we identify an appropriate name
for something, we have power over it and can relate to it from a position of
privilege. We regain power over something once we give it a voice or a name.
As the new year begins, name your
desires. Tell God what you want. Ask for what you need. You may first have to
discern most appropriately what you seek. Once you have rightly identified it,
the pursuit of that goal is much easier and straight-forward. As we stand at
the cusp of a new year, we benefit from all the spiritual resources we can
muster. The Trinitarian God is there to aid us, and so is Mary, the Mother of
God, who once helped her Son clarify what he wanted and needed. She will gladly
do the same for us. Seek out her counsel. She is wise beyond the ages. She will
place us with her Son.
It seems so much easier for men to relate to Mary than for women. Maybe because men have a special relationship with their mothers...
ReplyDeleteIt has taken me a long time to develop a relationship with Mary. Now that I am a grandmother, I see her as a friend, an ally, a presence...
Your way of looking at Mary is lovely and I will return here to read your post again, and again.
Happy New Year, Claire. I'd love to hear more of women's experiences of their mothers, since mothers and fathers are major relationships in our lives. They get very complicated and as you suggest, it takes a long time to come to a respectful relationship with them - and by extension, Mary.
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