Spirituality: Getting ready for the Election Cycle

This is an excerpt from a conversation I had with two people who are frustrated with one another about political views. 

"I appreciate that you and your associate expressed your positions in defense of democracy. You come at it from very different worldviews and perspectives. You each represent a passion for unity and a solution for how democracy can be preserved. He thinks democracy is already dismantled while you fear a certain candidate will undo the last vestiges of democracy. The courts have a specific role and they are now tainted with partisanship and lack credibility.

We need to find a way to coexist and work together harmoniously while still retaining the wisdom from our experiences. As it stands, your associate's rationale will not change your mind, and your rationale will not change his. Logic and rationality do not change minds and hearts, as much as we would like to believe that they do. Hearts are changed by compassion and understanding.

We have to learn how to listen deeply so we can understand two things about a person: (1.) how and why are they suffering, and (2.) what do they need? When we listen to the person and let our hearts be moved out of compassion and from vulnerability, the person's suffering is lessened. When we demonstrate that we understand and care, the person begins to settle and calm down. We need to be in a state of balance before we enter conversations. Likewise, the most important question we can ask is: What do they need? It puts the burden on the person to articulate the ways they are hurting and what would help them hurt less. They become a person who reclaims authority because he is now responsible for his own recovery and healing. 

Likewise, we have to continue to peel the layers off our proverbial onion to articulate what we need. When we speak out of our needs and suffering, we begin to have dialogue. Until then, we are fated to press and impose our positions hoping that someone will hear them, but it is not the way to be heard. We strive to be seen and heard and known, and we do not know how to get what we most need. 

Communion happens when we acknowledge one another's pain and realize we are still here for the other person, that we will not give up, and that the goal of our conversation is to understand each other better. 

We have a lot of work to do."