Literature: Anne Frank

I feel wicked sleeping in a warm bed, while my dearest friends have been knocked down or have fallen into a gutter somewhere out in the cold night. I get frightened when I think of close friends who have now been delivered into the hands of the cruelest brutes that walk the earth.

Spirituality: Thomas Merton

Christ, who came to earth to teach the ways of sanctity and prayer, could have surrounded himself with ascetics who starved themselves to death and terrified the people with strange antics. But his apostles were workers, fishers, publicans who made themselves conspicuous only by their disregard for most of the intricate network of devotions, ceremonial practices and moral gymnastics of the professionally holy. The surest asceticism is the bitter insecurity and labor of the poor.

Spirituality: Pope Francis

We have created a 'disposable' culture, which is no longer simply about exploitation and oppression, but something new. This culture of prosperity deadens us; we are thrilled if the market offers us something new to purchase; and in the meantime all those lives stunted for lack of opportunity seem a mere spectacle; they fail to move us. In this system, which tends to devour everything that stands in the way of increased profits; whatever is fragile, like the environment, is defenseless before the interests of a deified market.

Thirty-First Sunday of Ordinary Time

Ignatian Spirituality: Set the World Ablaze

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Thirty-First Sunday of Ordinary Time

The Feast of All Saints

November 1, 2015

Revelation 7:2-4, 9-14; Psalm 24; 1 John 3:1-3; Matthew 5:1-12

            The Beatitudes are counter-cultural and we take great comfort in them because they measure the extent of our striving to be our best selves. The measure of life is how fully we have loved, not whether we were successful or accomplished in particular endeavors. When death comes, it is often cruel and final, but we consider the nobility of peoples’ lives based upon their kindness and generosity. When a person has lived well, our sorrow is tempered by the reality that he or she was a good person and that, without doubt, God welcomed the faithful one into heaven – no questions asked. We know, very firmly in our consciousness, that this good person is now in heaven praying for us and that we have not really lost the presence of this soul. It is as if we have gained another advocate in heaven.

            When we are fond of the Beatitudes, it means that we are fully alive in Christ and that the glory of God is shown through us. In a world of hardship and sorrow, the Beatitudes reveal that we have done our imperfect best for the greater glory of God. We have lived knowing that the lives of others are often more important than our own goals and desires and they fill us with a portrait of disciples that are more attainable than we think.

            Righteous souls seldom want to be considered holy for it is an exalted category that makes them uncomfortable. They do not seek their own gain, but are often praying and caring for others. They realize they are not better than anyone else; they are simply trying to be kind and merciful. They are not excessive in seeking worldly standards and honors and recognize that God has blessed them with good fortune and talents. Many are generous in sharing what they have worked hard to achieve with other. They are honest and measured in expressing their emotions, but can never despair because their lives are about trusting in God. They have learned how to respect and honor those who hold conflicting ideas and goals, which means they often endure insults and anger or are abused for their kindness, and yet they are quick to forgive and move forward. They are the moral artists who strive to create a more just, more equitable, more compassionate world. Theirs is a world that is continually becoming and they can see the positive steps that are unnoticed by critics and naysayers. These souls realize they are far from perfect, far from saintliness, but that they hope in humanity for better results. They are often content to remain silent because they are appreciating the slow progress that is advancing. They are the ones to plant the seeds that others will water. They are content to not ever see the results.

            All Saints Day is a reminder of the type of people we may want to become because tomorrow is the day we remember all the faithful departed souls who have taught us the real meaning of life. These days remind us that we simply do not go through life just visiting this world, but that we can be fully alive and positive for all the good that is being done in our world here and in heaven. We do not want spend the last days of our life saying, “I regret saying this, or not reconciling with my sibling, or missed a chance to tell my parents I love and appreciate them. I regret living in fear or sighing that I did not measure up. I regret that I still am argumentative and willful and I did not let others love me. I do not want to wonder if those I love really love me back. I want to belong.” We want to be able to say, “God, I tried. It was awful hard, but I did what I could – with mixed results. I marveled and was amazed at your goodness and I’m thankful you kept me grateful for so much.”

            Today we immerse ourselves in the goodness of the souls who surround us. We see what love God has bestowed upon us and we long to see God’s face. We are strengthened by the multitude of aid we have to help us along our challenging path, but we stay joyfully confident that God will work out everything for the good – so all we need to do is to give up our tendency to control. Learn to spend your time wisely. Open up new avenues that will make your life more enjoyable and meaningful. Change around your values to make kindness, prudence, and tolerance primary among your virtues. Above all, the Lord wants us to be kind and merciful. These simple values will help us embrace beauty, wonder, and goodness – all those things that make our individual lives remarkable. You will only see the blessings of each person because your capacity to hold each person in wonder is exponentially increased by the good you give out. Your life will become one worth living because every aspect of you is engaged and energized. It is a simple, but full life, and we can rejoice and be glad because our soul is content to rest in God.    

Themes for this Week’s Masses

First Reading: 

·      Monday: (Romans 5) Hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.

·      Tuesday: (Romans 12) We, though many, are one Body in Christ and individually parts of one another. Let love be sincere; hold onto what is good; love one another.

·      Wednesday: (Romans 13) Owe nothing to no one, except to love one another for the one who loves has fulfilled the law.  

·      Thursday: (Romans 14) None of us lives for oneself, and no one dies for oneself. If we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord. Christ is the Lord of the living and the dead.  

·      Friday (Romans 15) I am convinced you are filled with goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able to admonish one another.  

·      Saturday (Romans 16) Paul signs off his letter by recognizing Prisca and Aquila, Mary, Adronicus and Junia, Ampliatus, Gaius, Erastus, and Quartus. May God strengthen you and may you make the Gospel known to all peoples.  

Gospel: 

·      Monday: (John 6) Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and I will not reject anyone who comes to me because I came down from heaven not to do my own will but the will of the one who sent me.

·      Tuesday: (Luke 14) A man gave a great dinner to which he invited many. When time for dinner came, one by one many began to excuse themselves. He ordered servants to go out into the streets and alleys and bring in the poor, crippled, blind, and lame.

·      Wednesday (Luke 14) Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple. Building the foundation first will allow you to have resources to finish.  

·      Thursday (Luke 15) Pharisees complained the Jesus welcomed sinners and ate with them. He instructed them that he rejoices because he has found those who were once lost.

·      Friday (Luke 16) A rich man had a steward reported to him for squandering property. The clever servant settled debts. The master commended the dishonest steward for acting prudently.

·      Saturday (Luke 16) If you are not trustworthy with dishonest wealth, who will trust you will real wealth? The Pharisees loved money and sneered at Jesus.

Saints of the Week

November 1: All Saints Day honors the countless faithful believers - living and dead - who have helped us along in our faith. Our liturgical calendar is filled with canonized saints, but we have many blesseds and minor saints who no longer appear on it. We have local saints across the world. We have many people who live Gospel values who we appreciate and imitate. We remember all of these people on this day.

November 2: All Souls Day is the commemoration of the faithful departed. November is known as All Souls Month. We remember those who died as we hasten towards the end of the liturgical year and the great feast of Christ the King. As a tradition, we have always remembered our dead as a way of keeping them alive to us and giving thanks to God for their lives.

November 3: Rupert Mayer, S.J., priest (1876-1945), resisted the Nazi government and died while saying Mass of a stroke. In 1937, he was placed in protective custody and was eventually released when he agreed that he would no longer preach.

November 3: Martin de Porres, religious (1579-1639) was a Peruvian born of a Spanish knight and a Panamanian Indian woman. Because he was not pure blood, he lost many privileges in the ruling classes. He became a Dominican and served the community in many menial jobs. He was known for tending to the sick and poor and for maintaining a rigorous prayer life.

November 4: Charles Borromeo, bishop (1538-1584), was made Bishop of Milan at age 22. He was the nephew of Pope Pius IV. He was a leading Archbishop in the Catholic Reformation that followed the Council of Trent. During a plague epidemic, Borromeo visited the hardest hit areas so he could provide pastoral care to the sick.

November 5: All Saints and Blessed of the Society of Jesus are remembered by Jesuits on their particularized liturgical calendar. We remember not only the major saints on the calendar, but also those who are in the canonization process and hold the title of Blessed. We pray for all souls of deceased Jesuits in our province during the month by using our necrology (listing of the dead.)

This Week in Jesuit History

·      Nov 1, 1956. The Society of Jesus was allowed in Norway.

·      Nov 2, 1661. The death of Daniel Seghers, a famous painter of insects and flowers.

·      Nov 3, 1614. Dutch pirates failed to capture the vessel in which the right arm of Francis Xavier was being brought to Rome.

·      Nov 4, 1768. On the feast of St Charles, patron of Charles III, King of Spain, the people of Madrid asked for the recall of the Jesuits who had been banished from Spain nineteen months earlier. Irritated by this demand, the king drove the Archbishop of Toledo and his Vicar General into exile as instigators of the movement.

·      Nov 5, 1660. The death of Alexander de Rhodes, one of the most effective Jesuit missionaries of all time. A native of France, he arrived in what is now Vietnam in 1625.

·      Nov 6, 1789. Fr. John Carroll of Maryland was appointed to be the first Bishop of Baltimore.

·      Nov 7, 1717. The death of Antonio Baldinucci, an itinerant preacher to the inhabitants of the Italian countryside near Rome.

Trigésimo Primer Domingo del Tiempo Ordinario

Trigésimo Primer Domingo del Tiempo Ordinario

La Fiesta de Todos los Santos

01 de noviembre 2015

Apocalipsis 7: 2-4, 9-14; Salmo 24; 1 Juan 3: 1-3; Mateo 5: 1-12

Las Bienaventuranzas son contra-culturales y tomamos gran consuelo en ellos, ya que miden el grado de nuestra lucha por ser mejor de nosotros mismos. La medida de la vida es como plenamente hemos amado, no se si tuvimos éxito o logrado en los esfuerzos particulares. Cuando llega la muerte, es a menudo cruel y final, pero consideramos que la nobleza de la vida de las personas en base a su amabilidad y generosidad. Cuando una persona ha vivido bien, nuestro dolor es moderado por la realidad de que él o ella era una buena persona y que, sin duda, Dios dio la bienvenida a los fieles a uno en el cielo - sin hacer preguntas. Sabemos, muy firmemente en nuestra conciencia, que esta buena persona ya está en el cielo orando por nosotros y que en realidad no hemos perdido la presencia de esta alma. Es como si hubiéramos ganado otro abogado en el cielo.

Cuando somos aficionados a las Bienaventuranzas, quiere decir que estamos plenamente vivos en Cristo y que la gloria de Dios se muestra a través de nosotros. En un mundo de miseria y dolor, las bienaventuranzas revelan que hemos hecho nuestra imperfecta mejor para la mayor gloria de Dios. Hemos vivido sabiendo que las vidas de los demás son a menudo más importante que nuestras propias metas y deseos y nos llenan de un retrato de discípulos que son más asequibles de lo que pensamos.

Almas justas rara vez quieren ser considerados santa porque es una categoría exaltada que los hace sentir incómodos. No buscan su propio beneficio, pero a menudo están orando y cuidar a los demás. Ellos se dan cuenta que no son mejores que cualquier otra persona; simplemente están tratando de ser amable y misericordioso. Ellos no son excesivos en la búsqueda de las normas del mundo y honores y reconocer que Dios les ha bendecido con buena fortuna y talento. Muchos son generosos en compartir lo que han trabajado duro para lograr con otros. Son honestos y medido en la expresión de sus emociones, pero nunca se desesperan porque sus vidas están a punto de confiar en Dios. Ellos han aprendido a respetar y honrar a aquellos que tienen ideas y objetivos en conflicto, lo que significa que a menudo sufren insultos y la ira o son abusados ​​por su amabilidad, y sin embargo, son rápidos para perdonar y seguir adelante. Son los artistas morales que se esfuerzan por crear un mundo más justo,, mundo más compasivo más equitativa. El suyo es un mundo que se está volviendo continuamente y pueden ver los pasos positivos que son desapercibidas por los críticos y detractores. Estas almas se dan cuenta que están lejos de ser perfecto, lejos de la santidad, pero que esperan en la humanidad para obtener mejores resultados. Ellos son a menudo el contenido a guardar silencio porque están apreciando el lento progreso que avanza. Son ellos los que plantar las semillas que otros agua. Ellos están contentos de no ver jamás los resultados.

Día de Todos los Santos es un recordatorio del tipo de personas que podemos querer convertirse porque mañana es el día en que recordamos todas las almas de los difuntos fieles que nos han enseñado el verdadero significado de la vida. Estos días nos recuerdan que simplemente no ir por la vida simplemente visitar este mundo, pero que pueden ser plenamente vivo y positivo por todo lo bueno que se está haciendo en nuestro mundo aquí y en el cielo. No queremos pasar los últimos días de nuestra vida diciendo: "Me arrepiento de decir esto, o no conciliar con mi hermano o perdido una oportunidad de decirle a mis padres que me encanta y les agradezco. Me arrepiento de vivir con miedo o suspirando que no estaba a la altura. Lamento que todavía estoy argumentativa y voluntarioso y yo no dejo que otros me aman. No quiero que preguntarse si los que amo realmente me encanta volver. Quiero pertenecer. "Queremos ser capaces de decir:" Dios, he intentado. Fue horrible duro, pero lo hice lo que pude - con resultados mixtos. Me maravillé y quedé sorprendido por su bondad y estoy agradecido de que me mantuvo agradecido por tanto ".

Hoy nos sumergimos en la bondad de las almas que nos rodean. Vemos lo que aman a Dios nos ha dado y que anhelamos ver el rostro de Dios. Somos fortalecidos por la multitud de ayuda tenemos que ayudarnos en nuestro camino difícil, pero nos quedamos con alegría la confianza de que Dios va a salir todo por el bien - por lo que todo lo que necesitamos hacer es renunciar a nuestra tendencia a controlar. Aprenda a pasar su tiempo sabiamente. Abre nuevas vías que harán su vida más agradable y significativa. Cambie alrededor de sus valores para que la bondad, la prudencia y primaria tolerancia entre sus virtudes. Por encima de todo, el Señor quiere que seamos amables y misericordiosos. Estos valores simples nos ayudarán a abrazar la belleza, la maravilla y la bondad - todas esas cosas que hacen que nuestro individuo vive notable. Sólo verá las bendiciones de cada persona debido a que su capacidad para sostener a cada persona con asombro se incrementa exponencialmente por el bien que das. Tu vida se convertirá en uno vale la pena vivir, porque cada aspecto de que se dedica y energizado. Es una vida sencilla, pero completa, y podemos Alegraos y regocijaos, porque nuestra alma está contenido a descansar en Dios.

Temas para las misas de esta semana

Primera Lectura:
• Lunes: (Romanos 5) La esperanza no defrauda, ​​porque el amor de Dios ha sido derramado en nuestros corazones por el Espíritu Santo que nos ha sido dado.
• Martes: (Romanos 12) Nosotros, siendo muchos, somos un cuerpo en Cristo e individualmente partes de unos a otros. El amor sea sincero; aferrarse a lo que es bueno; amarnos unos a otros.
• Miércoles: (Romanos 13) debo nada a nadie, sino el amaros unos a otros porque el que ama ha cumplido la ley.
• Jueves: (Romanos 14) Ninguno de nosotros vive para sí, y ninguno muere para sí. Si vivimos, vivimos para el Señor, y si morimos, morimos para el Señor. Cristo es el Señor de los vivos y los muertos.
• Viernes (Romanos 15) Estoy convencido de que están llenos de bondad, llenos de todo conocimiento, y capaz de amonestar a los otros.
• Sábado (Romanos 16) Pablo se despide su carta reconociendo Prisca y Aquila, María, Adronicus y Junia, Amplias, Gayo, Erasto, y Quartus. Que Dios los fortalecerá y le puede hacer que el Evangelio a conocer a todos los pueblos.

Evangelio:
• Lunes: (Juan 6) Todo lo que el Padre me da, vendrá a mí, y no voy a rechazar a nadie que venga a mí, porque he bajado del cielo, no para hacer mi voluntad, sino la voluntad del que me ha enviado.
• Martes: (Lucas 14) Un hombre dio una gran cena a la que invitó a muchos. Cuando llegó la hora de la cena, uno a uno muchos comenzaron a excusarse. Ordenó siervos a salir a las calles y callejones y traer a los pobres, lisiados, ciegos y cojos.
• Miércoles (Lucas 14) El que no lleva su cruz y viene en pos de mí, no puede ser mi discípulo. La construcción de la base primera le permitirá contar con recursos para terminar.
• Jueves (Lucas 15) fariseos se quejó el Jesús dio la bienvenida a los pecadores y comía con ellos. Él les dio instrucciones para que se alegra porque ha encontrado a los que alguna vez se perdió.
• Viernes (Lucas 16) Un hombre rico tenía un administrador informó a él para despilfarrar propiedad. El siervo inteligente instaló deudas. El señor alabó al administrador injusto por actuar con prudencia.
• Sábado (Lucas 16) Si usted no es digno de confianza con la riqueza deshonesta, ¿quién les confiará lo hará verdadera riqueza? Los fariseos le encantó dinero y se burlaban de Jesús.

Santos de la Semana

01 de noviembre: Día de Todos los Santos rinde homenaje a las innumerables fieles creyentes - vivos y muertos - que nos han ayudado a lo largo de nuestra fe. Nuestro calendario litúrgico está lleno de santos canonizados, pero tenemos muchos beatos y santos menores de edad que ya no aparecen en él. Tenemos santos locales en todo el mundo. Tenemos muchas personas que viven los valores evangélicos que apreciamos e imitar. Recordamos a todas estas personas en este día.

2 de noviembre: Día de los Difuntos es la conmemoración de los fieles difuntos. Noviembre es conocido como el Mes de los Difuntos. Recordamos a los que murieron como nos apresuramos hacia el final del año litúrgico y de la gran fiesta de Cristo Rey. Como una tradición, siempre hemos recordado a nuestros muertos como una manera de mantener vivos a nosotros y dar gracias a Dios por sus vidas.

03 de noviembre: Rupert Mayer, SJ, sacerdote (1876-1945), resistió el gobierno nazi y murió mientras decía misa de un accidente cerebrovascular. En 1937, fue puesto bajo custodia protectora y finalmente fue puesto en libertad cuando aceptó que ya no iba a predicar.

03 de noviembre: Martín de Porres, religioso (1579 a 1639) fue un peruano nacido de un caballero español y una india panameña. Debido a que no era sangre pura, perdió muchos privilegios en la clase dirigente. Se convirtió en un dominicano y sirvió a la comunidad en muchos puestos de trabajo de baja categoría. Era conocido por tendiendo a los enfermos ya los pobres y para el mantenimiento de una vida de oración riguroso.

4 de noviembre: Carlos Borromeo, obispo (1538/84), se hizo obispo de Milán a los 22 años era el sobrino del Papa Pío IV. Él era un arzobispo líder en la Reforma católica que siguió al Concilio de Trento. Durante una epidemia de peste, Borromeo visitó las zonas más afectadas para poder brindar atención pastoral a los enfermos.

05 de noviembre: Todos los santos y beatos de la Compañía de Jesús son recordados por los jesuitas en su calendario litúrgico particularizada. Recordamos no sólo los grandes santos del calendario, sino también a los que están en el proceso de canonización y mantener el título de Beato. Oramos por todas las almas de los jesuitas fallecidos en nuestra provincia durante el mes por el uso de nuestra necrología (lista de los muertos).

Esta semana en la historia de los jesuitas

• 01 de noviembre de 1956. La Compañía de Jesús fue permitido en Noruega.
• 02 de noviembre, 1661. La muerte de Daniel Seghers, un famoso pintor de insectos y flores.
• 03 de noviembre, 1614. piratas holandeses no pudo capturar el buque en el que el brazo derecho de Francisco Javier estaba siendo llevado a Roma.
• 04 de noviembre de 1768. En la fiesta de San Carlos, patrón de Carlos III, Rey de España, el pueblo de Madrid pidió el retiro del mercado de los jesuitas que habían sido expulsados ​​de España diecinueve meses antes. Irritado por esta demanda, el rey condujo el arzobispo de Toledo y su Vicario General al exilio como instigadores del movimiento.
• 05 de noviembre, 1660. La muerte de Alejandro de Rodas, uno de los misioneros más eficaces jesuitas de todos los tiempos. Nacido en Francia, llegó a lo que hoy es Vietnam en 1625.
• 06 de noviembre de 1789. P. John Carroll de Maryland fue designado para ser el primer obispo de Baltimore.
• 07 de noviembre, 1717. La muerte de Antonio Baldinucci, un predicador itinerante a los habitantes de la campiña italiana, cerca de Roma.

Prayer: Healing Prayer at Bedtime

Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, go back into my memory as I sleep.

Every hurt that has ever been done to me - heal that hurt.
Every hurt that I have caused to another person - heal that hurt.
All the relationships that have been damaged in my whole life that I'm not aware of - heal those relationships.

But Lord, if there is anything I need to do - if I need to go to a person still suffering from my hand - bring to my awareness that person.

I choose to forgive, and I ask to be forgiven. Remove whatever bitterness may be in my heart, Lord; and fill the empty space with your love.

Spirituality: On Sins

From Julian of Norwich: “If you and I had never sinned, how would we ever come to know how weak we are? How would we ever be able to appreciate the astonishing love God has for us? Even when we sin, we are no less precious in His sight. It is by sinning that we come to know what God’s love means.

From Anthony de Mello, S.J.: “Be grateful for your sins, for they are carriers of grace. For, you see, you really don’t even have to change for God to love you. To forget that is to forget God.”

Poem: Hildegard von Bingen

Hail, O greenest branch,
sprung forth in the airy breezes
of the prayers of the saints.
So the time has come
that your sprays have flourished:
hail, hail to you,
because the heat of the sun has exuded from you
like the aroma of balm.
For the beautiful flower sprung from you
which gave all parched perfumes
their aroma.
And they have radiated anew
in their full freshness.
Whence the skies bestowed dew upon the pasture,
and all the earth was made joyful
because her womb
brought forth corn,
and because the birds of the firmament
built their nests in her.
Then there was harvest ready for Man
and a great rejoicing of banqueters,
whence, O sweet Virgin,
no joy is lacking in you.
Eve rejected all these things.
Now let there be praise to the Highest.

We need more Magis please

We need more Magis please.

Earlier this week, some groups that participated in the Ignatian Evenings, deliberated over the meaning and uses of the word magis.  We have to make certain we do not advance a superficial use of the word to mean only “the more,” because that is incorrect. A thorough contemplation of the idea will help us get a maturing understanding. In the short term, think of it as a “deepening,” “a qualitative depth, especially in the relationship with Christ.”

In an environment like a high school, we can get hooked. We are gifted with many talents and abilities, we are in a primary helping profession, and we simply want to be good human beings of faith. People ask us to do things and we want to respond generously. Please respond to these requests when you schedule is in balance. It is very respectable not to always answer the call.

Make certain you give to yourself as often as you give to others. These days are filled with many activities and we find ourselves in a marathon. Take your time and pace yourself. Seldom consider that you have an open time slot in your schedule, but see that it is time that you have set aside for your work or rest. Do not consider it an available slot, but simply time reserved for you. Please do not give it away too quickly. We need you fresh and energized for the remainder of the year.

Blessed Sacrament

This term refers to the Eucharist as preeminent among the seven sacraments. It often more narrowly refers to the consecrated bread as it is reserved outside the celebration of the Eucharist.

Before the twelfth century, the sacred species was reserved privately to be administered to the sick in emergencies. During that century there was significant development of the doctrine of the Real Presence. Accompanying this development was the desire on the part of the faithful to see and worship Christ present in the sacrament.

The liturgical renewal following the Second Vatican Council emphasizes the Eucharist as an action. This has had a number of implications for the reservation of the Blessed Sacrament. The first of these is the stress that is placed on the primary and original reason for reserving the sacred species, that is, the administration of Communion to the sick and dying. Distribution of Communion outside of mass and adoration of Jesus Christ as really present under the appearance of bread are secondary reasons.

Another implication is that the relationship of the Blessed Sacrament to the action of the Mass is always to be made clear. For example, exposition should not occur during the celebration of Mass, and when it occurs after the Mass, the host should be one consecrated at that Mass.

Just Mercy

“As I left town, I watched the sunset and darkness descend across the county landscape as it has for centuries. People would be heading home now, some to very comfortable houses where they could relax easily, secure and proud of their community. Others, people like Darnell and Walter’s family, would be returning to less comfortable homes. They would not rest as easily, nor would there be much thought of community pride. For them the darkness brought a familiar unease, an uncertainty weighted with a wary, lingering fear as old as the settlement of the county itself; discomfort too longstanding and constant to merit discussion but too burdensome to ever forget. I drove away as quickly as I could.”